Although there are some parts of being 16 I'd rather not ever revisit, there are a pile of things I wish I could go back and say to myself now.
Dear 16-year-old self:
Hi.
You may not know me, but I know you. I know
you very well. I know your ins and outs, the way your mind works and I know
that you have two thongs hidden in a bag in the back of your closet. Don’t
worry. Mom’s not going to freak out – in fact, she won’t even say anything
about them when they land in the laundry basket. She’ll wash them, and you’ll
find them in your underwear drawer. In ten years, you’ll hate them so don’t
stress about wearing them. Seamless panties are better and way more flattering.
TRUST ME.
I know
you’re really worried about having sex for the first time with your boyfriend.
Stop feeling bad about your decision to wait, because it’s going to change
everything. Know that you made the right decision, and that you chose the right
person to share that experience with. When you break up next year, you’re going
to feel like you can never love again but you will and you do. By the way,
you’re still friends in the future and you’re always going to hold him in a
special place in your heart.
Speaking of
love, Mom loves you, and she was right: one day you’ll understand why. You see,
you’re going to watch your heart running around before your eyes in only a few
short years. You’re not really going to be ready for it, but you’re going to
love every minute of it.
Stop trying to grow up so quickly – your adolescence
and carefree days are gone before you know it.
Stop
calling yourself fat. You’re not. Don't listen to the people who make you feel badly. They're as ugly on the inside as they make you feel on the outside. Make sure you don’t skip breakfast – it’s
important and while beauty trends are going to go from super thin to curvy and
back again over the next few years, don’t forget that healthy is always in.
Make sure
you tell everyone you care about just how special they are. You never know when
or how things will change.
Don’t stop
writing and don’t stop dreaming. Those dreams are going to become a reality and
you really are going to be a writer when you grow up. If you don’t believe me,
just read this letter again. You wrote
it.
Perfection
is overrated. Get that through your head.
In less than ten years, you will have
cellulite, stretch marks, wrinkles and hormonal acne on your chin. It’s not the
end of the world. You’re a tiger and you earned those stripes, dammit. ...Except
maybe the acne – but Witch Hazel is your friend and those super expensive acne
treatments that are full of harsh chemicals are going to screw up your skin.
Don’t waste your money. Seriously, you need it to buy toys for F.
Never say
never because you’re going to survive things you thought you couldn’t and do
things you don’t necessarily want to. Don’t forget: if you have to convince
yourself to be with someone or convince that someone to be with you, it was
never right in the first place. Let it go. Happiness is waiting around the
corner.
Give
Great-Aunt Mayme an extra hug. You’re going to live in her house in a few years,
but it’s going to be short-lived. You’re going to feel her presence forever.
Smile every time you see a Habs emblem – it’s Doug telling you he loves you.
Papa lives in your baby’s heart, and when you look in his eyes you’ll see Papa
shining through.
Becoming a
Mom is scary. Enjoy every minute of it because he’s going to run out of time to
spend sitting on your lap before you’re ready to let go of his hand. Speaking
of Moms, make sure you thank Mom for folding your laundry and don’t bitch at
her for asking you to put it away. You’re going to miss that. Trust me.
Double
speaking of Moms – your biological mom is still out there, and she hasn’t
forgotten you. You’re going to find her soon. Hang in there.
Hug Dee,
because you have no idea what he’s going through. He’s going to be your best
friend in a couple of years – stop rolling your eyes, it’s true – and you’re
going to cherish him in a way that you didn’t know you could.
Your boobs
are going to be a little saggy in a few years. Take that bra off while you
still can, girl!
Don’t
forget to forgive yourself every now and again. Nothing is going to hurt more than sucking up your pride and going home, but you’re going to realize how lucky you are to have Mom and Dad. Go give them both a hug. Say I love you at every opportunity. They deserve to hear it, and you’re not too cool to say it.
High school
isn’t forever. The people who are mean to you now will be mere memories soon.
You’re going to meet your true friends and they’re as whacky as you are. Oh, and that red-head in the Nike sweater? Yeah, girl... you win him over in a few years. Hold on - he's worth the wait.
It may not
be easy, but life is good. Enjoy it.
Oh Ashely. I love reading your writing. You're a very wise young woman. Kids are the best and they grow quickly. Our youth, it doesn't last too long. It great to enjoy each step of the way and those that share those steps with us.
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