Detriment

Irrational. 

It's a word I found myself repeating over and over to myself on Saturday morning as I stood in my kitchen. I was being irrational. Completely and utterly irrational. Ridiculous even, and it's made me realize exactly how detrimental self-talk can be. You see, while I was making myself a piece of toast and a cup of coffee before I got ready to work out, I almost called myself that f-word that I promised I wouldn't.

You are not fat. You are being irrational. I shouldn't be eating this bread. Carbs are bad.

Just because you are eating something does not make you fat. Tell that to my squishy stomach. I can't believe I wasn't working out all last month.

You are not fat because you haven't been working out. You were busy. You can work out today and tomorrow. You just need your routine. Hmm, I was pretty busy... 

Working out today is not going to make you instantly skinny. It is going to help you be strong, and it will make you feel good. Working out today will make me feel good... and I need to eat in order to have energy and be strong.

You are not fat. You are being irrational. I am being irrational.

This, my friends, was the internal dialogue that went down in a pair of neon shorts while standing in a half-assed tree pose (otherwise known as my cookin' pose) in the kitchen. It's a conversation that once upon a time, I would have had out loud, in front of a mirror - until the day F asked me if he was "fat". It's a conversation lots of us have with ourselves and it's a conversation that needs to stop. I'd dump the friend or the boyfriend who made me feel bad about my body, so it's time I dump my own habit of doing it. 

It might sound silly, but self-talk is important. It's the stuff we do in the minutes before a date or an interview or while we're trying to keep ourselves together standing in the longest line-up known to humanity at Starbucks when we just really need that coffee. But as much as we make it through hard times by telling ourselves to breathe, we also tear ourselves down unnecessarily. Or at least, I do. 

Tell yourself how awesome you are today. Made it to work on time? Go you! YOU SHOWERED? Fantastic - go eat a cookie! Seriously, eat the cookie. Don't put yourself in a state of detriment. You're better than that.

Thumbs-Up for Thursdays (August 29)

Before I start, I have to admit I've been neglecting my blog a bit the last little while, but I promise I'll get my shit together soon!
 
It's here, and it's the last one for the month of August. It's another Thursday, and with it comes a few thumbs-ups. The Thursday before a long weekend is always a little bit hectic in my world, partially because I want to finish everything at work and also because I generally have a fair bit of packing to do. This week was no exception, but today has been by far the best day of my entire month!

1. I had the best weekend last weekend. No, seriously THE BEST. I spent time with friends, went out for wine and had the opportunity to laze around and just relax. This weekend will undoubtedly be a close second since it's a long one, AND I'm seeing F for the first time in two weeks. (For those of you who don't know, my daycare provider effed me and now I don't have childcare again.)

2. On a work trip to New Glasgow this week, I not only got to share my knowledge and passion for social media with a fabulous group of people, but I got to share a delicious meal with a great friend who I haven't seen in far too long! Catching up with friends is the best.

 3. I might actually have the best job ever. Just today, I spent my morning with a group of kids and their parents as they were provided with back-to-school assistance including clothing, Wal-Mart gift cards and backpacks filled with crayons, pencils, calculators and binders! Being a part of something bigger than myself, and helping more than 200 people is something that definitely deserves one big thumbs up.

4. This morning, a kind stranger paid for my Starbucks order in the drive-thru. After putting my cash back in my wallet, I decided that I wanted to keep the train of awesomeness chugging along. So I dug out my debit card and asked if I could please purchase the order for the car behind me. As warmed as my heart was by the generosity of that stranger, I felt great passing on that warmth to another. It was a small gesture but it had a huge impact on my day! Thumbs Up for kindness, amiright?

I hope you all had a great week too, and invite you to share your thumbs ups with me anytime! :) Keep the positivity going!

Thumbs Up for Thursdays! (August 22)

I've said it before, BUT CAN YOU BELIEVE AUGUST IS ALMOST OVER?!

Seriously, you guys, there is only one more Thursday before September is upon us. Shit, right? We'll soon be packing away the summer things, but not before enjoy the last few days and weeks of summer. This week was refreshingly quiet, filled with a couple of great surprises and an astonishing amount of caffeine. As always, there was lots to be done and little of it was finished. Luckily for everyone, tomorrow is Friday and the weekend is within our reach.

I'm looking forward to being even less productive in the upcoming days, but in the meantime I'll be appreciative of the things that deserved a Thumbs Up this week!

1. My parents hosted F for the week, so I've been a free agent all week - and will be until early next week! I've been missing him all week, but I have to admit that I've been enjoying grown up TV and getting lots of work done. That said, I'm really looking forward to catching up on snuggles!

2. I had a fun night out for the first time in a long time. It was well deserved, I really needed it, and that's all I'm saying. :)

3. My almost-85-year-old Nanny spent the night with me last night, on a very rare trip away from home for her. I grew up right next door to this amazing lady, and she is a focal point in most (if not all) of my childhood memories. Being 5 hours away, I don't get to spend as much quality time with any of my family members as I would like, but it was a treat to have her stay with me and see my place. Extra awesome was our trip to Swiss Chalet for soup, cheesecake and a spot o' tea followed by The Beverly Hillbillies before bed.

4. I had two interviews for an amazing opportunity this week, which has rekindled my confidence in my own abilities. After months of sending out resumes and not hearing a peep from any employer, two interviews in as many days was a nice reaffirmation that I have a lot to offer. That said, I was sad to receive a resume for my current position which means my days in my current chair may be numbered.

5. Last, but definitely not least, I had "coffee" with a wonderful friend today. She's an inspiration and like a big sister to me. And I owe her a big thank-you and a kick in the arse for getting me addicted to the Matcha green tea chiller! I'm on my way to get another right. this. minute.

Have a great day! What would you give a Thumbs Up to this week?

Thumbs Up for Thursdays! (August 15)

I can't even believe it's the middle of August. Summer is almost gone, you guys!

This Thursday, I have a pile of clothes on my floor like you wouldn't believe and I haven't even begun cleaning or packing for our weekend in CB! Gah! As always, life with a toddler is busy and occasionally crazifying but we're plugging on through! Woohoo. With little progress being made on the job front, it's been hard to keep a positive outlook but your day is only as good as you let it be so...

Without further ado, here are some things that earned a Thumbs Up this week!

1. Cool evenings. Although I'm bummed I didn't get to wear some of my new shorts (warm weather, come back!!), I can't complain about cool weather at bedtime. The cooler air makes for a comfortable sleep - and after a week of not sleeping well, I'll take whatever zeds I can get.

2. I still have my job (kind of)! Yay! After giving notice a couple of weeks ago, I definitely wasn't expecting to be glad to still have my part-time position, but when plans changed I was pretty thankful to be able to stay a little bit longer. In the meantime, I'm glad that I have half of my day to spend job hunting.

3. F started taking himself to the potty, which means Mommy is off the hook for quick runs to pee. As a parent, there's nothing better than seeing your child find their confidence and independence and this is a huge feat for F! Only a couple of months ago, I was seriously afraid the kid would never give up his pull-ups and now he's too cool to have his Mom in the bathroom with him. #Winning.

Thumbs Up for Thursdays! (August 8)

At the risk of sounding dramatic, this week hasn't exactly been filled with thumbs-ups. It's pretty hard to be sunshine and rainbows immediately post-breakup, but my broken heart hasn't totally gotten in the way of my realizing how blessed my life is.

This Thursday was a bit quieter than the norm. I was lucky enough to send some stuff back to Mom's yesterday (read: laundry), and having her here the last couple of days meant that my toilet was probably clean enough to eat out of (don't worry, I didn't). It wasn't an easy week. Many tears were shed, but things were looking up faster than I could have hoped and I've learned that things are rarely as bad as they seem.

With that said, here are a few things that deserve a Thumbs-Up this week!

1. I'm only half-jobless. This is a bit of a mixed blessing. On the one hand, I have my job temporarily. On the other hand, it's temporary. When I handed in my resignation on Thursday, I didn't think twice about when my position would be filled. Now my life sort of hanging on it. But I've got a broad skillset, so I'll find something somewhere.

2. I have the world's best friends. Seriously. The best. From late-night, lengthy, sob-filled phone calls to the hung over, "OMG-we're-both-crying-what-is-wrong-with-us", I never felt alone. Then there were the tweet-ups, emails, texts and hilarious pictures and the "hey chicky, should I come over with wine?" messages that reminded me just how full my life is.

3. Sick Days. 'Nuff said. Although I'm feeling better, I still needed a day to myself. A day to spend with F. A day to just be. So yesterday, I used one of my sick days at work and it left me feeling totally rejuvenated. Never under estimate the power of a good snuggle and a bubble bath to bring you back to life. Props to F for his mad snuggle-skills.

4. And directly related to sick days, undeniably the greatest blessing of all: I am healthy. I am not facing a serious medical issue, I can get up and go every morning - even on the days I don't want to. So I will. And I'll be thankful every step of the way.

It's amazing what the right perspective can do for you mood.

Perspective

Sometimes, our plans can change in an instant.

It doesn't matter whether we like it or not. It doesn't matter if we had all of our ducks in a row, and our heart set on something. Sometimes, things are out of our control. Not meant to be. Sometimes they are.

It's easy to drown in the sadness and frustration and anger that comes from disappointment and heartache. It's just as easy to float away with elation, forgetting to keep your feet on the ground. Emotions can feel larger than life, they can smother us with their intensity and we can lose our focus.

It's cliché, but true: In every ending, there comes a new beginning.

Though a chapter of my life that has been full of love, happiness and growth has come to an end, I can see another chapter on the horizon. I don't know what it has in store, but I know that it will be wonderful and beautiful and I will make it through the rough patch I currently find myself in.

Wherever you find yourself in your journey today, remember how blessed you are to be in that exact place. Count your blessings. You make a life with what you have, not what you wish you had. Let it go. Happiness, as always, is waiting.

Be strong and stay positive. XO

Thumbs Up for Thursdays! (August 1)

Crazy coconuts, you guys! It's August!!! That means summer is half over. Insert sad face here, amiright? It's also Thursday, meaning it's high time we bust out the positivity as we head into tomorrow's Beautiful Friday and enjoy a long weekend! 

It's not quite 8 am and my day already feels crazy. After my 9-hour work day is finished up, I've got laundry and packing ahead of me! Red and I are off to Moncton, NB to celebrate his good friend's wedding. Thursdays, you guys, Thursdays. UGH. If nothing else, remember that Thursday helps you get to Friday and everybody loves a weekend! 

So, without further ado here's a round-up of what I give Thumbs-Up to this week:

1. Red is home - although I can assure you there was at least one day during the almost-week he's been home that we both wished the other was in Timbuktu, it's really nice to have him back. AND, in spite of a little tiff or twenty, I don't think I'd send him back to the woods. 

2. KIDCATION. I miss little F a lot, but it has been so nice to only get myself ready in the morning. His kidcation is coming to an end, and he'll be back to the grind next week. I think it's important to explain here that it's less that I need or want time away from F, but I needed some time for me. Now that I've had PLENTY of it, I'm ready to get the little rascal back!

3. My long weekend begins tomorrow! I'm out of my second-job office by 2 p.m. tomorrow at the latest and off to Moncton to enjoy a long weekend. BONUS: The last time I spent a night in a hotel, I was legit LIVING in that hotel with my Mom because my apartment had been broken into my the rental company and cleaned out because I'd given notice to move. #Bastards. ANYWAY, staying in a hotel will be a nice treat!

4. The weather has been fantastic this week! I'm all for high heat, but sitting in an office sweating through your carefully chosen outfit is just no fun. The slightly cooler weather and great days have made for comfortable office mornings and easy-to-sleep nights. What's not to love about that?

5. Last night might have been the highlight of my entire week! Red and I went out for dinner and then went downtown to walk and drive around, just enjoying the city. It was great - and the best part was, I got a MASSIVE piece of Cheesecake at Broadway Cheescake.  You guys, yum.

What deserved a Thumbs-Up this week in your lives? Tell me below or on my Facebook Page.

Thumbs Up for Thursdays (July 25)

Today was a long day.

Like, a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong day. In fact, I've only slept about 4 hours since  I got up for work at 5 am on Wednesday morning. Why? you ask? Well, being the medical anomaly that I am, I landed myself in the hospital just before midnight and stayed in the ER until after 8 am.

In spite of feeling awful, I decided to recap all of the things that deserve a thumbs up again this week. Being cranky certainly won't make me feel any better, so I figure it's high time I break out the positivity again.

So, without further ado, here are the things that deserve a Thumbs-Up this week!

1. I finally got the mailbox at my apartment fixed! As lovely as it is to pretend that I don't have bills, the reality is that I do and now that I can actually physically hold them, I feel a lot better about paying them. Extra bonus: I had a credit balance on one of them! Woohoo!

2. I had the opportunity to paint my nails in peace and quiet this week. Any Mom will tell you how hard it is to do that with a kid around. My kidcation hasn't been the glamorous, R&R adventure I was anticipating but I can totally get behind pretty nails!

3. I got a free lipstick at Sephora (as part of a reward for being a loyal customer). I was also the second customer in Atlantic Canada to receive the VIB Rouge status with Sephora. It's both exciting and embarrassing. Don't ask how much I spent to get to that in the last year.

4. Even though I spent more than eight hours in pain, sitting under a thin blanket in the emergency room, the ER staff deserve a real thumbs-up for how hard working they were. Plus, I recognize how fortunate I am to be able to go and spend eight hours in the Emergency Department of the hospital and receive treatment - even if I unfortunately left with more questions than answers and a head full of worry.

5. OK, I know this hasn't happened yet BUT... RED COMES HOME TOMORROW! And if that's not reason to celebrate, nothing is!

Thumbs Up for Thursdays (July 18)

In an effort to be just a leeeeetle more appreciative and positive, I've decided to pay more attention to the great things in my life each week and let the not-so-great things roll off my back.

It's no secret that everyone loves a Friday, leaving Thursday to be little more than the day that stands between us and the beginning of our weekend. Thursday is often the busiest day in my week, as it's my day to try to wrap up loose ends at work, laundry day and if I'm heading home to visit my folks, it's also the day I do my packing and clean the apartment from floor to ceiling. Yikes. As I'm sweating profusely and cursing the dog's fur all over my floor, it's much too easy to let the stress of my busy life get to me. 

But, nobody wins that way. It doesn't make my day any better, and it sure as Hell doesn't get the floors cleaned so pumping out a little positivity is especially important. No one likes a Debbie Downer!

So, without further ado, here are the things that deserve a Thumbs-Up this week!

1.  Red, F and I had a great, super low-key weekend. OK, so technically this was partially last week, but we really did have a great time. I feel especially blessed to welcome Red into our little family, and to have him in my life as a friend and partner. 


2.   Accident-free days with F! Potty-training is a big adjustment, on top of adjusting to his daycare and moving to live with me in Halifax. We like to celebrate the little things at my house, and any day where F doesn't miss a trip to the potty is a special day in my eyes. Congratulations F, and a super-big thanks to Red for all his work in making F feel comfortable with the potty. 

This, you guys, is home. Breton Cove, represent!

3.    A fun surprise! On Tuesday, while casually scrolling Twitter I caught glimpse of a tweet from Lost Cod Clothing (follow them @LostCod) featuring this image. As I would quickly learn, the Cabot Trail Ranch belonged to my great uncle. I hauled ass (in my fabulous heels, no less) from Sackville to Lower Water St. where I nabbed a pile of merch with featuring the sign. Surprise gift for my cousin Merrill! Toot toot!

4.    THIS. Free clothes guys, free clothes. In addition to snazzy new clothes (courtesy of an awesome colleague), I scored great deals on new glasses. As a bespectacled babe, and a fashion-obsessed kind of gal, I'm more than a little excited. 

Another week of summer is *almost* behind me, which is pretty hard to believe. Tomorrow night, I'll be heading to Breton Cove to see my folks and hopefully log some time on the beach! 

Don't forget to tune-in tomorrow for another Beautiful Friday, and make sure you like my Facebook Page.