Pizza Delivery

Dear pizza delivery guy who rang my doorbell at 9:55pm on a Wednesday,

Firstly, I hope you liked my blue snowflake underwear. I was so disoriented by my wake-up that I couldn't even find clothes. For the record, I thought it was the middle of the night and that there was some kind of emergency. Everyone knows you don't need pants in an emergency (or something like that).

Second, thank-you for ringing not once, not twice but four times while I ran around trying to find pants and waking my three-year-old. Usually when people don't answer right away, it's for a reason. It took me two hours to get him settled down.

 

Lastly, when you arrive at my door saying "Pizza Delivery" and I tell you have the wrong door, don't look at me like I'm an idiot and ask me if I'm sure. 

I am not wearing pants and I couldn't find my glasses in the sleep-fogged confusion between my bed and my door. I have bed head and my mascara that I should have washed off an hour ago is smeared across my face. I'm squinting to see you. There is also a pantless toddler in a yellow shirt asking if there's a fire. Do we look like we ordered pizza? No. 

Also, don't ask me if I know who ordered pizza. There are 40 units in this building. Tell your order-person to figure their shit out. 

Sincerely,

An over-tired, cranky Mommy with under-eye circles and a surplus of coffee.

PS I hope you found that apartment and got a tip before the pizza got cold. Asshat.

#EyeTwitch

I do my best to be a positive person.

Lately, it's been hard. The stress of being away from F has been greater than I could have ever imagined and the lack of sleep is starting to make me a little crazy. After spending most of the last year alone, I've overcompensated by filling my days with people and I haven't taken a quarter of the alone time that I really need.

Enter the eyetwitch.

It takes a lot to really grate my nerves, and yet for the past two weeks everything has been abrasive and irritating. Little comments and actions seem huge, bad drivers seem to have multiplied and all of the stupid people in the world seem to be out in full-force when I'm in a rush to get somewhere or get something done.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Negativity spreads like wildfire. Little irritations snowball into massive pet peeves, bad days spiral into bad weeks and the next thing you know you've become that douchebag you can't stand. You're irritated just listening to yourself be irritated, you're pissed off by your own bad mood and yet you feel powerless to stop it.

Once it begins, it's almost impossible to stop it. I'm exhausted by my own exhaustion, and annoyed by my own annoyance. It's tiring and it's unfulfilling. It sucks the joy out of everything, and I've decided to put my foot down.

I can't change the past two months. I can't undo all the crap that happened, and I certainly can't go back and adjust my attitude but I can look forward. I can make sure it doesn't happen again. My patience my wear thin from time to time, but I don't have to let it get the better of me. In fact, I won't.

I've decided to implement a 10-minute rule.

I can bitch and complain for 10-minutes every day, and then put it all away. Whether it's a person at work, the ass who cut me off in rush hour traffic or the neighbours who play their music too loud, I can complain for 10 minutes. I can be angry, sad, annoyed, frustrated, WHATEVER for 10 minutes and then I have to let it fly.

I can't take on the frustrations of others. I'm too empathetic. I will tune out the "Debbie Downers" and I'll ignore the gloomy moods that I run into in class or the office. I'll be the irritating, cheerful person that all the cranky people can't stand.

And they can bitch about me all they want.

#EyeTwitch

#EndRant