Fit

Just over two weeks ago, I made the decision to leave my job.

After a few months of looking, a handful of interviews and a lot of time spent wringing my hands an offer landed in my lap and I leaped at the opportunity. It was different. New. It would be a challenge. And then, ten days after accepting the position, ten days after feeling a weird mix of happy and sad, excitement and terror, ten days after making up my mind another offer came in. 

When it rains it pours.

So I contemplated. And I cried. I looked at Mr. Hockey Coach and asked what I should do. I called my prof. I called my parents. I spoke to friends and colleagues and I wrote pros and cons lists and I felt sick because it was too tempting. I could go home, but I was miserable just contemplating it. So I said fuck it and I turned down that second opportunity. And a weight was lifted. But then I wondered - and I knew I would - whether it was the right decision.

I sat at a coffee shop waiting for the office to open on Monday morning, giving me time to think. I sat in the corner of the shop and watched as people shuffled past the window in the cold, as the traffic lights changed and I pondered my choice. What if I hated it? What if it wasn't the right fit for me? But what if it was?

After leaving my second day of work today, I had the answer. 

I made the right decision. I'm the kind of happy and excited that I haven't been in a long time. I can see the challenges before me and I can hardly make my brain shut up for long enough for me to think about anything else.  There's something amazing about realizing that you've found something that fits - and yet still needs to be broken in.

Like the perfect pair of shoes.

Bittersweet

I accepted a new job last week.

I'll never deny that I always keep an eye open and an ear out for new opportunities in everything, from my writing to apartments. Once upon a time I was quite content to be static, until my life began to feel stagnant. Perhaps it is the fear of staleness in my life that lights the proverbial fire under my ass that keeps me looking for new adventures, but whatever it is, I found myself at a crossroads and decided to take the unbeaten path.

And so, with some trepidation, I said yes.

And then, with much sadness, I wrote my letter of resignation.

And then I almost threw up.

Moving on to this new position is both exciting and terrifying. While I am thrilled to have this opportunity, I can't help but feel a pang of sadness as I know I'll desperately miss my friends in the office. I'll miss the sense of accomplishment that comes from knowing that the work I do every day helps better the lives of others. 

But I'll meet new people. I'll do new things. And the opportunities ahead of me are endless.

It's nothing shy of bittersweet, as I look forward to my first day at my new job and dread my last day with the office. 

Until then...