Operation: Gratitude

I was a spoiled kid.

In fact, I am still spoiled. My parents bought me a dozen roses and my entire family showered me with gifts and love and awesomeness and a disgusting amount of delicious, delicious food last weekend as we celebrated my graduation a year after starting PR school. If you were near me right now, you'd be able to see the drool dripping down my chinny-chin-chin because the food was that awesome. Broccoli salad should be illegal, you guys. 

But I digress. Spoiled rotten I was, and remain to be so I guess it won't come as a surprise that my sweet little guy is also spoiled.

F has so many toys that he has a full collection at my mom's house and a full collection at my house. He's got movies, books, an iPod Touch and all kinds of cool gadgets that didn't exist when I was a kid. I take full responsibility for spoiling my child. I want him to have all of the nice things I had growing up, and more. I want to give him these things, and when I can't it breaks my heart. And, admittedly, I've been giving him things to try to compensate for his dad not being here.

But it's time I give him more. I'm going to give him compassion. I'm going to give him understanding. I'm going to give him more love. And today, he's going to give toys to someone else as we fill a box full of items for a child in need this Christmas. 

My parents gave me toys and clothes and stuff, but they also gave me morals and values and a desire to make the world a better place. Now, I work for one of the biggest, most recognizable charities in the world and I help people day in and day out. It's time F learns how amazing it is to give. It's time F realizes how lucky we are. It's time he learns what gratitude is.

Will it be easy? Probably not. But it will be worth it. Stay tuned for photos, videos and a copy of the letter we send to a 2-4 year old boy in need this Christmas.  

Stuff

Isn't it amazing how stuff accumulates?

Admittedly, I did far too much shopping these past 6 months. Part of the problem certainly lies in the fact that I had some need for spring and summer clothing, but the real issue was probably more related to some sort of validation or gratification I found in new clothes than anything else. I love removing the price tag and size sticker and wearing a new article of clothing for the first time.

 

Over the past 8 months at my job, I've had a real glimpse into the excess that I live in and the absolute poverty some of my neighbours and community members live in. It's a drastic difference. Last week alone, I removed more than a laundry basket of clothes that I don't wear or don't quite fit into from my closet. More than a laundry basket. Some clothes still had tags on them. Some were never worn. Some were well-worn. It's shameful, really, to have so much. I don't need half of what remains hanging in my closet, but I appreciate having it and I am committing to not adding to it unless it's absolutely necessary.

I love fashion, but I love my job. 

It is an honour and a privilege to work with and serve many of the people I do - and I'm not even a front-line worker. I sit in a cushy, air conditioned administrative office in my business wear and high heeled shoes five days a week. Sometimes I complain about being too cold so I have an extra sweater hanging on the back of my chair. But I've torn it all down and gone to the food kitchens. I've gone to the homeless shelter. I've handed out breakfast to hungry kids, and sat with an open ear for those who had no one to talk to and I'm better for it. 

This week, I've seen people with next to nothing offer their friends and neighbours what little they had in the aftermath of a fire... meanwhile, I struggle to let go of jeans that don't fit and shirts that I'm "too old" to wear. All because I'm attached to stuff.

I challenge you, my friends, to look through your closets and remove what you no longer need. Get rid of those too-small jeans or the clothes you held onto from high school. Take them to The Salvation Army, Value Village, a community centre. Those leftover school supplies the kids had before they went off to university? Drop them off at a local youth group meeting. Pick up a few cans of soup or pasta sauce and drop them in the food bank box at Sobeys. Schedule one evening out of your month to volunteer somewhere. 

No matter how much or how little we have, we can all help. 

Enough

I woke up this morning feeling pretty pleased with myself.

Two big suitcases sat jam-packed with my stuff against the wall, a third set on top of a rubbermaid container (mainly to hold said rubbermaid container closed), waiting to be filled. In a little under two hours last night, I managed to pack the clothes I like the most need for my first few weeks in the new place. How efficient am I? I thought smugly, and then I looked into my closet.

More clothes. Dresses, jackets, shirts, sweaters, shoes, pants, jeans, skirts... There is an entire wardrobe packed in my suitcases and another full wardrobe hanging in my closet. My bureau drawers aren't empty either. In spite of having not one but four white button-front shirts, last week I looked at one and thought how much I wanted to buy it. I didn't, and was reminded why last night. Given, some of the clothes hanging don't fit quite right but some were expensive items, and you never know when you might put on five or forty pounds, right?

More. It consumes our lives, day in and day out. We want more money, bigger houses, faster cars, better wardrobes, more vacation time. Some of us even lose sleep over it - I know I do. Want keeps me awake, need rarely does. Every now and again, want and need overlap for me. Going back to school is a great example of that. I could have done all of the schoolwork in the upcoming year in the time I spent worrying. All those hours didn't change the outcome though. They don't make tuition less and as far as I can see, worrying isn't going to make leaving any easier.

Wanting more this and more that has really only given me more stress, more headaches and less happiness. Worrying about things I can't have or can't change has only dulled my own life and taken away from all of the wonderful things I do have. What if, just for one day, I could swap wanting more with being happy with enough. I have enough. 

I have a roof over my head when thousands of others are freezing in the street. I have food in my cupboards, and electricity keeping my fridge running. I have an amazing support system of family and friends. I have a beautiful, bright and loving little boy and I have our health. New jeans or a shiny car won't make any of that better or worse.

When it's all stripped away, I really have it all - I have more than enough.