Having a boyfriend is different than it used to be.
Once upon a time, having a boyfriend meant that I would have to go through the (sometimes) awkward process of introducing him to my family and meeting his. It meant mingling with his friends, while I slowly eased him into being around the wing nuts I call my girls. Now, though, there's a real twist to the whole thing.
I have a tiny, absolutely precious, little toddler heart to look out for.
I'm really lucky in that Red and I have known eachother since the beginning of time. In fact, I don't ever remember not knowing him - it's a different, kind of weird dynamic but I like it. In addition to knowing him forever, we've also always known eachothers families. He's sat in the gear shed at the wharf with my Dad drinking beer after a day of fishing. I'm not sure if it makes it easier or harder to start a relationship with someone when you know each other's families so well (especially since our Dads are pals) but I do know that this relationship has come easier than probably any that I've ever had in my life.
But I still have to "officially" introduce him to F, and there's just no amount of mental preparation to get me ready for that one. Even though Red has seen F around the wharf and around the community, F will have no idea who he's meeting and they've never spent any time together. It's not really something I ever anticipated doing, introducing my child to a boyfriend, but it's a week away. I'm see-sawing between the excitement of seeing F with Red and dreading it, because F is a handful at the best of times.
I knew dating was going to be a horse of a different colour these days, and I feel pretty damn blessed to have found someone who totally accepts me for who I am and how my life looks, all messy and half upside down sometimes.
I wrote in the past that a Mom doesn't introduce her kid to a guy she's dating unless she really likes him, but the truth is that I won't let F meet someone who I'm not genuinely serious about. I've kind of surprised myself in being serious about someone, but it's a great surprise.
And I have a sneaking suspicion F is going to love him. I know I do.