Saturday marked one whole year of singledom. 12 months. 52 weeks. 365 days. 8760 hours. 525600 minutes. It sounds like a lot, and a year ago I would have sworn I'd never make it to this end but I did and it doesn't feel like much longer than the blink of an eye.
Just like in the days and weeks leading up to our wedding anniversary, his birthday, Christmas and New Years I've found myself struggling with the emotions surrounding the process of letting go. Moving on, I've learned, isn't as easy as putting it all behind you. Walking away is much more than putting one foot in front of the other.
At times, I'm frustrated with myself but as the days have turned into months I find I can go weeks without thinking about him, but that makes me even more sad: to know that someone who was such an important part of my life is so absent from it today. Now, we can officially file for divorce. It's so real now - as real as the fact I haven't gotten so much as a text from him in 4 weeks. I vow to let go of my sadness once and for all. No more grieving what could have been.
It's high time I celebrate my life and the changes I've made in it. My energy is better spent laughing than crying, working my way forward than looking back and finding beauty in the world instead of clinging to the sorrows I've encountered. So I propose a toast at 7:16am on a Wednesday. *Coffee mug raised*
Here's to new opportunities, great friends and making my dreams come true. Cheers!