unapologetic: adj. unwilling to make or express an apology.
There are too few times in life that we are unapologetic as mothers, women, community members and friends. Mommy Guilt consumes us as we leave for work every day, spend time or money on ourselves, or say "no" to our children. We give time and effort to community, family, friends and we forget about ourselves. It's time to stop apologizing for every little thing. Here's a list of things I refuse to be sorry for anymore - not just as a Mom, but as ME.
1. Saying NO. To every guy I met in my teens/twenties whom I didn't sleep with, every girl who asked to borrow my stuff, every organization that asks me to donate time or money I just don't have I am not sorry.
2. Going to School/Work or NOT Going to School/Work. You are more than a mother, wife, daughter, sister. You are YOU. Embrace that. Yes, it's hard to leave your child behind but it's a lot harder to live with resentment and regret. Do what's best for you, your family, your happiness.
3. Having Dreams. I love my son more than words can describe. To be honest, I'm not sure if there are enough words for me to even begin but I want to be more than just Mom. This means having dreams and following them, working toward them. Don't give me any shit about being a bad mom for choosing to do so, either. See the above paragraph for further clarification.
4. Not being a Size Zero. If you are a mother who, like myself, looks in the mirror and cringes at stretch marks and jiggle, take a deep breath and forgive yourself. No more sorry. YOU HAD A FUCKING BABY ('Scuse my French). You've carried, birthed and possibly breastfed a child. You are raising said child, juggling your life, relationships and the responsibilities of parenthood. Pat yourself on the back and go eat a cookie. Seriously. Eat the cookie - and say Thank You to your amazing body for being amazing.
5. Going Out. You can't put your entire social life on hold. I've tried, it backfires. Let go of the guilt you feel when you carve out time to go and have that thing... what's it called? Oh yeah, FUN. Go have some fun. Spend time with your friends. Hire a sitter and have a date night with your significant other.
6. Staying In. Being tired is OK. This one is directly linked to Number 1. It's OK to pass sometimes (or most of the time, if we're being honest). Spend your Saturday night reading in the bathtub, go to bed or curl up on the couch and watch cartoons with your kid[s].
7. Treating YOURSELF. Buy a magazine in the grocery store aisle and then lock yourself in the bathroom for an hour and read it. Headphones optional, but highly recommended. Buy nailpolish and paint your nails - or better yet - drop by the nail place and get a manicure. You deserve to feel good.
8. Letting Go. This is has been, by far, the biggest obstacle for me. It's OK when things don't work out. It's OK to let go of relationships that make you unhappy or a job you're miserable in. Whether you're letting go of emotional or physical weight, don't apologize for taking ownership of your happiness. It's yours.
9. Your Happiness. Yeah, it's hard when your friend is going through a tough time and you're on top of the world, but you shouldn't have to trash your own happiness in order to relate. It also sucks when the roles are reversed. Whether you're happy or sad, don't apologize to anyone for your emotions.
10. Being a Rock Star. Haters gonna hate. 'Nuff said.
Be positive and Stay Super! XO